It's not all about you

It got me to thinking - how often is it really not about me but about the circumstance that creates the win? These are experiences that span a lifetime. When I was seven, it was "I can't believe I was not picked first for the team." When I was 17, it was "I can't believe that school did not accept me." When I was 27, it was, "I can't believe that firm did not give me an interview." When I was 37, it was "I can't believe that judge ruled against me." In most of these cases, it was not that I (or my legal position) was a bad choice, it was simply not the choice that was made. By tailoring your delivery, you tailor your message, and therefore, tailor the results. A good communicator is wise to remember this basic principle. It will result in far fewer disappointments. By effectively communicating, you change the dynamic of the relationship. You still might sometimes suffer as "not the other guy," but more likely you - or your position - will be the choice, not the default. And isn't that still the goal, regardless of what we've learned about the world - to make it all about me?