Foreign Students and the American Coed

A description & analysis of the relationships between US women & foreign men on a northeastern campus in the US based on personal observations & conversations. No attempt to elicit responses by means of any type of 1 or formal interview was made. The US tradition of 'dating' is unfamiliar to foreign students, & creates frequent discord & dismay. In our socially heterosexual society, the internat'l guest learns that sexual relationships of varying degrees of intimacy & seriousness are expected of the single M. Moreover, the Coll girl is frequently coerced into such relationships by the expected mores. A number of problems arise: (1) The M student may mistake a coed's superficial kindness for sincere affection; discovery of his mistake is a disaster, creating bitterness & hostility. (2) A very few M foreigners may become involved with a promiscuous F; they are promptly as contemptuous of her & of all Amer's, as they are proud of themselves. (3) A few men 'fall in love' & soon realize that marriage is nearly impossible because of the disapproval of the girl's friends. (4) Most foreign students regard dating with shyness & a feeling of inadequacy; they see US girls as aggressive & demanding. (5) Some US coeds, who feel rejected by their peers, cultivate the friendship of foreigners out of desperation for Co or for sexual adventure. (6) Finally, a large number of coeds disregard the strangers on the campus because relationships with them tend to be regarded as a soc stigma. In short, the foreigner is virtually excluded from dating, about which he feels ambivalent. Most foreign students are older than their class peers; they feel neglected by girls, most of whom avoid them. They recognize the importance of 'dating' on the campus, but they do not understand that custom. Modified AA.