Families and Self-Sacrifice: Alternative Models and Meanings for Family Theory

The concept of sacrifice used to be a dominant theme in social scientific theorizing, but it is now so neglected that recent work speaks of the need for a "recovery" of sacrifice. Similarly, self-sacrifice in the service of family members, formerly seen as high virtue, is now often characterized as personality defect or self-defeating behavior. Neither self-sacrifice nor family love play a significant part in the prevailing family theories, grounded as they are in the assumption of self-interest and framed in the logic of utilitarian individualism and the rationalized marketplace. This "silence" is more ideologically based than reflective of family process. The absence of a language of sacrifice and love limits our ability to give voice to our experience, and the professional neglect of these concepts diminishes our understanding of the processes they name. Some recent work on sacrifice by scholars in other disciplines has implications for family theory. We draw from the disciplines of economics, history, philosophy, literature, sociology, and from life as lived by everyday people in making the case that self-sacrifice is a powerful and essential part of social life generally, and family life in particular. It merits a more substantial place in contemporary theory. Some theoretical approaches compatible with self-sacrifice as principle and practice are offered.