Separation Versus Connection, The Gender Controversy: Implications for Counseling Women

Traditional developmental theories hold that separation is the primary goal of human emotional development. Numerous current theorists question this notion. They propose that a girl's development of self is dependent on mutually empathic relationships with primary caretakers. This revision of developmental theory has implications for counseling. The counseling relationship with a woman should provide validation for her relational skill and opportunity to practice relational competence within the counseling relationship. Boys and men may also have the need to develop relational competence to secure a strong sense of self. If so, a relational model of counseling would apply to them as well.