Researching, studying or jumping through hoops? Reflections on a PhD

This article draws on my current and past memories, on some of the literature around post-graduate research and study in higher education, and on some of the literature linked to the subject of the PhD. It begins by outlining the process of study and indicates some of the benefits and drawbacks of returning to the student role. There follows some discussion of my marginal and shifting position in theoretical terms and how, in a number of ways, this mirrored the position of those I was researching. The article addresses some of the dilemmas that arose during the research, particularly in relation to age and sexuality, including problems of a restricted, adult perspective and the difficulties of involving children or young people in research. My impact as a researcher, and the influence of my appearance, use of language and background as a social worker are also considered. The article suggests that what the PhD was really about was jumping through a series of hoops, particularly those created by myself. It concludes that personal reflection, particularly reflection on my own insecurities throughout the process, may continue to influence my personal and professional development.