An exchange orientation results in an instrumental approach in intimate relationships

Although the possession of instrumentality (i.e., partner B being useful to partner A’s goal pursuit) can facilitate relationship satisfaction, taking an instrumental approach (i.e., A focusing on B’s usefulness and seeing B as a tool to facilitate personal goal attainment) is (often) considered as a callous and depersonalized approach to forming relationships. The current research examined whether adopting an exchange orientation amplifies the tendency for people to take an instrumental approach via the motive to maximize self‐gain. Four studies (N = 1446) utilizing samples across different countries, including the United Kingdom, the United States and China, supported this hypothesis. Specifically, during relationship initiation, an exchange (vs. non‐exchange) orientation made participants place higher importance on instrumentality rather than traits facilitating intimacy and bonding (Study 1). For established relationships, participants who chronically adopted an exchange orientation (Study 2) and who were temporarily induced to do so (vs. control; Study 3) were more likely to view their significant other as a tool. The final quasi‐experiment (Study 4) showed that requiring or being required to offer a bride price – an embodiment of exchange orientation – predicted instrumentality in marriage and subsequently impaired relationship satisfaction. Implications are discussed.