“There were no words”: Older LGBTQ+ persons' experiences of finding and claiming their gender and sexual identities

This article explores how older Canadian LGBTQ+ persons' gender and sexual identities evolved over time and were influenced by language, role models, and significant others. We draw on data from a qualitative interview study with 30 LGBTQ+ older adults. We analyze our data thematically, finding three overarching themes, namely: a) Lacking language and role models, b) Drawn and pushed out of the closet, and c) Current fluidities and future concerns. Our participants reported that, earlier in life, they had lacked language or positive frameworks with which to make sense of their identities. Upon finding language and role models, all but one eventually came out or transitioned, often after consulting trusted others, experimenting in secret, leading double lives, and/or finding same-sex love. Many were fearful that as they aged, they might once again lose their abilities to openly claim their gender and sexual identities. We discuss our findings in relation to queer theory and the LGBTQ+ aging literature. •In-depth interviews with LGBTQ+ older adults, aged 65 to 83•Participants struggled to claim their gender and sexual identities in early life•A lack of available language and role models undermined their sense of identity•Many got married, experimented in secret, and led double lives before coming out•Participants feared aging would force them back into the closet in long-term care