“Going through it together”: Being accompanied by loved ones during birth and abortion

We sought to understand the meaning people who have given birth and have had an abortion ascribe to being accompanied by partners, family members and friends during these reproductive experiences. Incorporating this knowledge into clinical practice may contribute to improving the quality of these services, especially in abortion care, in which loved ones are often excluded. The study took place in Northern California in 2014. We conducted semi-structured, intensive interviews with twenty cis-women about their birth and abortion experiences and analyzed their narratives with respect to accompaniment using grounded theory. The roles of loved ones were complementary yet distinct to those of medical personnel. They were also multifaceted. Participants needed familiar individuals to bear witness, share the emotional experience and provide protection from perceived or possible harm associated with medical care. In some cases, more often in the context of abortion than childbirth, participants shielded their loved ones from emotional burdens of the reproductive process. Some pregnant people of color faced gendered racism, which also influenced their accompaniment needs. Male partners played a distinct role of upholding dominant social ideals related to pregnancy. As is commonplace in birth-related care, abortion services could be formally structured to include partners, family members and friends when desired by pregnant people to improve their experiences. Such integration should be balanced with considerations for privacy, safety and institutional resources. Working toward this goal may reduce structural abortion stigma and help alleviate pregnant people's burdens associated with reproduction. •Pregnant people want to be accompanied by loved ones during birth and abortion experiences.•Loved ones fulfill distinct and complementary roles to attentive medical personnel.•Male partner accompaniment signifies shared responsibility and counters loneliness.•Compared to their partners, pregnant people seeking abortion carry a greater emotional burden.•Exclusion of loved ones during abortion services may contribute to structural abortion stigma.