Intimacies: An Integrative Multicultural Framework for Couple Therapy

Implicitly or explicitly, our ideas about intimacy are the most fundamental notions giving direction to the process of couple therapy. Yet, as a field, we have spent little time conceptualizing intimacy and even less time considering the diversity of priorities and meanings couples bring to our offices. In Part One, Varieties of Intimacy, I describe a kaleidoscope of contexts—socio‐historical, cultural, gender, life cycle, and developmental—that inform our ideas and expectations for intimacy in couples’ relationships. I highlight different spheres in which intimacy may take place such as the emotional, sexual, intellectual, or familial. I propose a starting point in which the therapist, in a collaborative manner, helps the partners articulate their yearnings and priorities in order to negotiate a shared vision. In Part Two, Conceptualizing Intimacy, I suggest an experiential definition that gives room for each partner's subjective meanings, yet consider diverse relational processes that may need to be addressed for a resilient ebb and flow of intimate experiences. In Part Three, Sexual Intimacy, I outline conditions in which sex is more likely to be experienced as intimate rather than nonintimate. Finally, in Part Four, I describe Therapeutic Principles to guide the therapist in taking couples from reactivity to dialogue to negotiations of intimacy. The integrative framework proposed here discourages monolithic a priori notions of intimacy and highlights instead: nuanced meanings, relational processes to be considered differentially, present and past emotional blocks, and a flexible clinical approach to foster conditions for the creation and resilience of intimate experiences. Ya sea implícita o explícitamente, nuestras ideas acerca de la intimidad son las nociones más fundamentales que orientan el proceso de terapia de pareja. No obstante, nuestro campo ha dedicado poco tiempo a conceptualizar la intimidad, y aún menos tiempo a deconstruir nuestras nociones para así considerar la diversidad de prioridades y significados que las parejas traen a nuestras consultas. En la primera parte, Variedades de intimidad, describo un caleidoscopio de contextos—socio‐histórico, cultural, de género, de ciclo de vida y personal—que informan nuestras ideas y expectativas de la intimidad en las relaciones de parejas. Destaco diversos ámbitos en los cuales puede darse la intimidad, tal como el emociona, intelectual, familiar y sexual. Propongo un punto de partida desde el cu