Incivility hates company: Shared incivility attenuates rumination, stress, and psychological withdrawal by reducing self-blame

•We investigate incivility using a controlled experimental team-task design.•Self-blame mediates the relationship between experienced incivility and task outcomes.•Witnessing incivility toward a fellow team member reduces the harmful task-related effects.•We integrate into a single model both mediating and moderating processes. Although episodes of workplace incivility can lead to deleterious personal and performance outcomes, we suggest that differences in how incivility is experienced (i.e., as a singled-out target, or in the company of another who is also treated uncivilly) can have significant impact on the cognitions and behaviors that follow uncivil treatment. Drawing from Sociometer Theory, we test the notion that sharing the experience of incivility with another target can greatly diminish individual-level harm, and demonstrate that causal beliefs related to self-blame mediate consequent downstream effects. Using an experimental design within a team task environment, we found that experiencing incivility from a team member increased participants’ rumination about mistreatment, task-related stress levels, and psychological withdrawal behavior. Moreover, we found support for conditional indirect effects, such that viewing mistreatment of a fellow team member at the hands of the same uncivil team member (shared incivility) attenuates the harmful effects of incivility, by reducing self-blame.