Loving in Consensual Non-Monogamies: Challenging the Validity of Sternberg’s Triangular Love Scale

In recent decades, Consensual Non-Monogamies—and polyamory, in particular—have increased in popularity, diversifying the panorama of intimacies stretching far beyond the monogamous heterosexual couple. Today, CNMs constitute an interesting subject of study, worthy of attention both theoretically and empirically. However, most of the psychometric tools developed to study the concept of love were not developed specifically for this type of relationships. One of the most commonly used of these tools is Sternberg’s Triangular Love Scale (STLS), which measures love as a function of three main components: Intimacy, Passion, and Decision/Commitment. Although STLS is widely used in social and psychological research and has been applied to various populations, it has never been used to measure love in CNMs. This article discusses the results of a questionnaire based on STLS administered to 558 individuals from 33 different countries. At the time of completing the questionnaire, each respondent had at least two sexual and/or romantic relationships with the consent of all of those involved. While STLS is validated in studies of people in monogamous relationships, confirmatory factor analysis suggests that it is not an appropriate tool for our sample of consensually non-monogamous individuals. This article seeks to explain this finding using qualitative data from an earlier study exploring how people who engage in forms of consensual non-monogamy define love and relationships.