Reflexivity in research: Three encounters and the 'I'-index: Unplugged - Academic Non Fiction

Creative non fiction in journalism uses narrative means from fiction to highlight dramatic tensions of reality and thus put the subjectivity of authors at the heart of the writing process to approach unfolding experience and practice from ordinary people. Life of academics is punctuated with astonishing, ordinary, ceremonial or dramatics scenes which sometimes take place in liminal spaces but may constitutes a core social piece of the research practice. The unplugged "academic non fiction" section is dedicated to share these moments. We praise reflexivity in management practice, but how willing are we to apply it to examining the reasons why we study what we study as researchers? The choice of what to study is a privilege but also a responsibility. This personal narrative dives below the usual explanations we give to each other in conferences, in the elevator pitches of academic life, in front of recruitment and selection committees, in our short bios, and in so many other venues of self-presentation and (re)construction. It is a cri de coeur from someone who is not only an immigrant to a dominant culture, but also an immigrant to academia: a Latina who still hesitates to write "I" in an academic article but, at the end of her career, turns back to look at the winding road and identifies three chance encounters that turned out to be signposts at critical crossroads. How about you? Whether you are at the start, middle, or end of your journey as a researcher, how are you deciding what to study? When it is your turn to look back, what will the papers scattered in the trail of your research career say about your "I"? Will you care most about your h-index or your "ľ'-index?