Constructing a sense of commitment in ‘Living Apart Together’ (LAT) relationships: Interpretive agency and individualization

LAT (Living Apart Together) relationships involve two people in a long-term intimate relationship who choose to live in separate households. Due to their tendency to lack structural commitments and rely on emotional bonds, LAT relationships can be viewed as a manifestation of individualization. Despite the increasing social acceptability of non-traditional partnerships, in many ways LAT relationships are still seen as deviant (and lacking commitment) by outsiders. This article draws on interpretive analyses of interviews with 28 LAT couples in two Canadian cities to explore how participants exercise agency and construct a sense of commitment in their relationships under these conditions (e.g. responding to generalized and particular others). In general, the LAT couples in this study described their commitments as strong, and as rooted in sexual fidelity, mutual exchanges of support, affection, with a long-term orientation, a willingness to work through difficulties and a shared history. Some ambivalence in discussing commitment can be explained with reference to participants’ strong desire to maintain independence within the relationship. This study represents one of the first in-depth examinations of LAT relationships undertaken in Canada.