Resisting revenge: An investigation of reasons for foregoing revenge in romantic relationships

The reasons people offered to explain why they resisted the desire to retaliate when provoked by a romantic partner were investigated in two studies. Undergraduates recalled an instance when they wanted to get even with a romantic partner but chose not to and either explained their reasons for foregoing revenge (Study 1, N = 27) or selected reasons from a checklist (Study 2, N = 91). Results suggest people succumb to the temptation to take revenge when they (a) do not stop to question the morality of responding vengefully, (b) do not consider the costs of retaliating (or perceive its benefits to outweigh its costs), or (c) weigh the harm that vengeance might cause their avengee/relationship less heavily than its benefits.