Moving and being moved through time: Autoethnographic Reflections on first‐person research and its development over 30 years

Background The research and practice divide is the subject of much debate in clinical disciplines. The movement towards autoethnography and first person research can illustrate the ways that the connection may be lived out in individual experience, contribute to bridging the divide and address deeper levels of experience that have not often been addressed in research or practice. Aim The article aims to contribute to furthering practitioner research and first person research through describing how research and practice have been interwoven in the author's experience as a psychotherapist and nurse. It also explicitly aims to include the non‐rational and transpersonal aspects which form a key part of the author's experience. Methodology Data is drawn from a range of written material including both personal journals, published and unpublished research and creative writing. Findings The findings are presented in narrative format reflecting the way that memory moves back and forth in present experience. The paper interweaves thirty years experience of research and practice, highlighting areas about which there was an experienced silence. Implications The article highlights the contribution that first person research can make in addressing deeper levels of experience that may not be disclosed in other forms of research because they contain non‐rational elements, that however do form an important part of some cultural perspectives and indivdual experience.