Time Out to Talk: Continuing to Learn

Transcribed from a video conversation Dec. 2, 2020 Steve Tonya, there have been a number of times when I've said something that you corrected me on, or pointed out limitations to my thinking. I would realize the problem right away, and wonder to myself, How come I didn't get that on my own? Tonya It is a growth process, this equity work. Steve For example, in talking about my autobiography, I stated that one of my privileges growing up was that I lived in a neighborhood that was White and safe and that it was a "good" neighborhood. You called me on that because it implied that neighborhoods with people of Color were not good neighborhoods. You recast the idea, pointing out that the actual privilege my family had was that they could choose where to live, while there were others who didn't get such choices. When I think about it now, I can see that it's like a little piece of racism still there in my head that I wasn't aware of. Katy Yes, Steve, you and I have stated that we still have a lot to learn, and that was one example of what our process sometimes involved. Steve As I reflect back on those moments when I would say something and you would stop me: now, you're always gracious and make it easy to take, but I wondered how you felt when I said something like that. Somebody else could take it as a microaggression. I didn't think you felt that way, but you did point out the problem. Tonya I didn't feel attacked by your statement. I thought it was from a deficit perspective, but because we have a relationship, I didn't feel as though you meant harm. I thought about it as an opportunity to dialogue. But if a person does not have a relationship with somebody and conversation points seem insensitive, someone could be offended by what was said. Relationships matter in this work. And people enter it at all stages of experience and development. I think we should be open and honest about where we are situated in it and be truthful as we enter into the conversations.