Rethinking marital love: Defining and strengthening key factors in successful partnerships

Despite discouraging rates of marital breakdown and indications of greater fragility in cohabitations, most people marry or cohabit and expect to remain together happily. This paper presents an exploratory investigation of self-declared happy couples who have lived together or been married for a long time. It proposes that their success rests primarily upon each making their respective needs for a primary attachment as adults, as much as in childhood, the most important aspect of their relationship. Five key factors which support the resulting protective alliance between them are proposed. Implications for treatment are discussed.