Distributed autonomous patching system

There are provided systems and methods for a distributed autonomous patching system. During patching of a cloud computing architecture, an autonomous patching system may operator autonomously with no to minimal operator input to patch the host machines and corresponding computes of the cloud computing architecture's available applications. This may work by receiving a patch and determining corresponding patching factors for an availability zone of computes in the cloud. The system may then determine a patching topology map having an order of patching nodes for the selected computes of the application in the availability zone. Thereafter, while monitoring those computes, the system may select certain computes into an active processing funnel, where the patch is applied to those computes. Fingerprinting of before and after-patch states may be used to ensure proper patching.