Surplus suffering, mothers don’t know best: Denial of mothers’ reality when parenting a child with mental health issues

This paper reports on a qualitative interview study of 16 mothers whose children had received a diagnosis with one, or more, mental health issue. It is based on retrospective accounts from mothers describing the early days of noticing that something seemed a bit problematic with their child. When they tried to discuss their concerns and asked for advice from family and friends their concerns were usually dismissed. When they took the child to the doctor, the doctor initially denied the mother’s own assessment of the child. Other professionals weighed in and often blamed the mother and denied her reality too. These findings are discussed in terms of the theories of surplus suffering, good and intensive mothering, mother blame and stigma. Implications for practice are considered.