The psychological architecture of the stable couple relationship

This article is a critical review of mainstream psychological theory on heteronormative “Western” coupledom from the 1930s, focusing on the ideological notion of stability as a foundation for successful romantic partnerships. Theorized qualities of couple stability and associated subjectivities are broadly discussed in relation to the psychologies of attachment, commitment, trust, intimacy, and monogamy. It is argued that these central facets of coupledom, as a microcosm of the sociopolitical realm, work to stabilize and regulate relationships according to static versions of wholeness and certainty. Promissory of an illusionary order that is devoid of perceived chaos, the stabilizations of couple relationships are critiqued as limiting transformative possibility. Aspects common to process philosophy and chaos theory are discussed as laying ontological ground for a relational system that is not structured by way of a misplaced foundational stability. Current research and theory around practices of open non-monogamy are addressed in regard to this.